Cultivating Mental Silence

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Are You Better than Me?

Are you a better professional than I am if you stay at work late until 6 pm and I leave at the agreed (contractual) upon time of 4:30 pm? Are you a better professional than I am if you leave with a lot of work to take home and I leave with just my water bottle and lunch bag? Recently, I was involved in a meeting where those in attendance seemed to buy into this illusion.I think we get into trouble when we associate staying at work late and bringing extra work home with hard work and dedication to the profession. The trouble I speak of comes in the form of judgement...judgement towards those who leave at 4:30 pm...judgement towards those who leave with just their water bottle and lunch bag...judgement that implies..."these" people committing "these" acts do not care as much about the profession as those who stay late and/or bring their jobs home with them! What are we not seeing from the person that leaves at 4:30 pm with her water bottle and lunch bag?Meetings like the one I attended recently get me thinking about a really important book I read about a year ago titled: [Essentialism](http://gregmckeown.com/product/essentialism-the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less/) by [Greg McKeown](http://gregmckeown.com/bio/). One of my main "takeaways"...relevant to this blog post...is the whole notion surrounding what happens when we say "yes" or "no" to someone else's request. For many of us...it's very difficult to say "no"...especially to those who hold some form of power over us...like (if you are not self-employed) our boss. Trust me when I say this, I am as guilty of this as anyone. From "required opportunities" to last minute requests we are constantly asked...in our jobs...to do more and more. When I think about the collateral damage (lost moments with our loved ones, missed chances to pursue creative interests...to name a few) that come as a result of not being able to say "no"...I pause...and...in this case...write blog posts like the one you are reading right now. My inability to say "no" gets me thinking about the anxiety that I create for myself when I get into the "rut" of saying "yes" to everything! I think about the narrative that gets created around our decisions to say "yes." Narratives that establish precedents...precedents that rarely lead to any sort of positive recognition for our above and beyond efforts...precedents that usually result in our inability to say "no" to be taken for granted, time and time again because...heck...you did it the last time I asked!Am I advocating or recommending that you say "no" to the next request your boss asks of you? No. That would not be pragmatic. What I am suggesting is that we pause...if only for a moment...the next time we are asked to do something and think...what are we giving up by saying "yes?"