Cultivating Mental Silence

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To cling or not to cling!

Almost 6 months to the day since I have given myself permission to blog. So let’s update...Finished a school year...had a great summer break...and started a new school year...my 29th (more on that in a bit).We are 6 months into living in our new house. We’ve done some really cool things...among them...enclosing our patio and a pretty massive landscaping project! Both came out very beautiful...exceeding our expectations! Each project has created space for both my wife and I to relax and enjoy our time with one another in ways we’ve never had to opportunity to experience!I continue to work on my book though that process has been dormant since late July/early August. I want to get back to it but have to admit that my “day job” is all consuming this year and I have really cherished my down time. I know that that is no excuse and am hopeful that I will get back to it soon. Spending time writing today is a nice way to imagine getting back into it.As I mentioned above...I have started my 29th year of teaching. To say it has been a challenge would be an understatement. So much is asked of us...and with a very high number of students in both my morning and afternoon classes...coupled with minimal support...I have spent many a day beating myself up for not handling the stress as well as I should be...at least that’s how I feel. Meditation, yoga, mindful notifications on my Apple Watch, and running each day are not balancing things out...while I am at school. So...what does that mean?Do I stop doing those things? No! Each is good for me and to expect a one-to-one correspondence (just because I do these things=bliss at work) just may be as much an unrealistic expectation as thinking that things could be going any better at work than they are currently. Which brings me to an interesting quote, from Alan Watts that I have not yet had a lot of time to contemplate. Here it is...When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly make up its mind that it didn’t want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing. In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension, and clinging to all sorts of things that are actually falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. Don't resist it.I love the implications of this quote...Watts is basically telling us to “let go...just fall.” I can wrap my head around the idea but...to put it into practice...that’s the challenge. How do I do this with a classroom full of students...each with different needs? How do I do this in a classroom where so many different things are asked of me...testing...planning...communicating with families...going to meetings...facilitating meetings? I get it...”these” are the things I cling to...what does it mean to just fall with them? Does “letting go” and “falling with it” mean to lower my expectations? Does lowering my expectations mean things will be worse? Better? Not change? I need to spend time thinking about how this quote layers over different situations...right? Does “falling with” one “thing” mean the same as “falling” with another? I want to let go...clinging is painful.