I am a husband, writer, and teacher exploring what it means to cultivate mental silence.

Even at arm's length...suffering endures!

Even at arm's length...suffering endures!I recently changed my passcode for my iPhone 6S from numeric to alpha-numeric in an attempt to make things more secure. To make sure I did not loose the new code, I wrote it on a sheet of paper. I also put it in 1Password, a great app to keep all of your passwords. Feeling like I'd done something good and that I could move on with my life I went ahead and...of course...forgot about it! For whatever reason, this morning when I went to access my phone, it asked for the new alpha-numeric code instead of letting me use my thumbprint. I attempted to type the code in and of course...it didn't work because in a week's time, I'd totally forgotten it.Words cannot describe the anger I felt as I tore my wallet apart, emptied my dresser...looking for that stupid piece of paper I'd placed the code on just a few days before. When I could not find it I thought...why not get into 1Password via my iPad Air 2 and look for the secure note I'd created. For some reason the note did not transfer from the phone app to my iPad Air 2. I had to leave for an appointment, one where my phone was not necessary but still...the anger and sense of panic would not leave me. I went ahead and left to keep the appointment. During my drive, at the first 2 red lights...you guessed it...I attempted to get back into the phone. No luck. Things got so bad...I finally started getting locked out of the phone for 1...5...then finally 10 minutes. How could I forget these 6 digits? Truth be told...I only could not recall 3 of them but it was that combination of 3 that brought me to the point where I was getting ready to head to the Apple Store...after my appointment and with great shame...to ask for some help!At the next red light I tried to clear my mind...10 minutes had past and I attempted to unlock the phone one last time! It worked! I immediately texted my wife the code so I could have one other safe spot for the next time I forget it!Hours away from what at the time seemed like the end of the world...I am attempting to process all of this. I got angry at myself...for forgetting where I'd placed the piece of paper with the code. Panicked that I'd have to go an undetermined amount of time without access to the phone. Embarrassed by the prospect of having to go to the Apple Store and ask for what I'm sure is asked for many times a day by people just like me! Are any of these feelings or thoughts misplaced? Why was I unwilling to just let it go and move forward with my day? Was it the fact that this happened moments before leaving for my appointment? Should that have even mattered? Giving my wife the code via text has for all intents purposes eliminated the chance of this event happening again. Should that give me a sense of calm?We encounter unexpected things everyday. I've written about this before. My reaction to this latest event reminds me yet again that...1. I am not the only person that stuff like this happens to.2. We live in an imperfect world and attempting to move through it perfectly is just asking for suffering!3. Suffering will occur regardless of my best efforts to hold it at arm's length!

Mental Health days and guilt...

Seeking the Middle Path...